The Interview
Jennifer Kirk
By John Koch, Boston Globe
You were originally a gymnast. What happened?
I was starting to think a lot. Gymnastics is much more dangerous than skating. We were doing back flips and I was thinking, "I can fall on my head," and it was scaring me. And my coach was verbally abusive. I don't respond well to that - I like to push myself. I was just 8. I said, "No more," and my parents thought that was fine.
How do you fit in at Harwich High School?
I live here on the Cape Monday through Friday so I can go to school, skate here, and train with Evy and Mary [Scotvold, at the Tony Kent Arena in South Dennis; the Scotvolds trained Nancy Kerrigan]. I'm living with another skater and her mom. I go home on weekends. The kids at school are really great. A group of us are known as The Skaters, but that would be true anywhere because we all get up in the middle of class and leave at 12:45. But nobody has ever said anything behind our back. They're all nice and treat us like other kids - because we are. At home, I have friends in ballet and from my old school in Newton, and we do normal teen stuff, like shopping, sleepovers, and going to the movies. But it's fun to be away because you become more independent. I've been doing it for four years.
How do you cope with the pressures of competition?
I like competing, although I feel bad for my mom sometimes, sitting in the stands and she can't control anything I do on the ice. I like the pressure. I like people thinking, "Oh, I don't think she can do it," or "She's really good, you have to come watch her." I like skating after someone who skated really well. I think to myself, "I can beat them." I love competing. It's just a fire that comes from inside.
Do you know where that confidence comes from?
I don't know where it comes from. I just had it since I was little. It has to be genetic.
Once you've mastered a program, do you skate unconsciously?
I've thought a lot about that and so have my coaches. They tell me, "Don't think." But that scares me: At a competition in Poland last year, I didn't think, and when I came off the ice I felt horrible. I felt, "What did I just do?" I thought I did bad while everybody was telling me I did great. I hate it. I have to think when I skate about every single thing I'm doing, even my arm movement. On my jumps, I just let my body do it, but on everything else, I always talk to myself in my head: "Do-it-this-way-do-it-that-way-do-this-hold-this-have-fun-it's-almost-done." If I don't think and put it on automatic, inside it's not as complete. I like to be very aware of what's going on and look at people in the audience and feel I'm on attack mode. If I just let my body do it, I feel like I'm sleeping and it doesn't matter.
How strong are you?
Skaters have a lot of stamina. I weigh 90 pounds, I'm 5-2. A lot of skaters are under 5-4, and we have a lot of muscle mass; if you add any fat, you can't really lift yourself up in the air. We're strong the way runners are. People watch skating on TV and think, oh, it's just wearing a pretty dress and doing these little tricks. But at the end of four minutes, when you have a triple lutz jump, you're tired, and you have to be in really good shape to go up and do it. People don't realize: We're really strong, physically and mentally.
How big is next week's event?
Really big for me, because it decides the world team. [Skaters must place among the top three to go to the World Championships in March in Canada.] You want to make the world team leading into the Olympics next year. I hope to skate well; that's all I can control. There's a lot of great skaters, and it will be hard. I don't like talking about it, I get so nervous. Last year, I was seventh in the Senior Nationals. You can't predict anything.
What's the hardest moment?
Standing there right before your
music starts, and it's like you have this huge plate in front of you, and it's filled with food, and you don't know where to start, and they're about to yell "Go," and it's this big contest, who can eat the most. That's when I talk to myself, and that's probably the time when I don't think at all about what I'm doing. I just get into my program, and going into the first jump, I really concentrate.
How do you escape all the demands on you?
Being with my friends and just talking to them about regular stuff. They always help me, and I listen to their problems, and we talk about mine. There's times when you're down in the blue and you don't feel well, and you want to just have your mom there and be at home. I've started to rely a lot on the people at the rink - we're kind of like a family. There's other kids that live away from home, and we call each other and say, "Oh, I miss my mom," or "Oh, I want to go home." I love just talking about stuff, what's going on inside of me. It makes me feel good. I also like reading and writing so
I can get my thoughts out. There's a group of us here, we're called the Cape Cod Congress, and we get togther in the locker room and talk about "Oh, I had such a bad today" and "Oh, me, too." It just makes us feel a
lot better to talk about it and then to go back out and skate.
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